How to Create Space for What You Want in Life

My 20’s were amazing! I had crazy-fun girlfriends, a lucrative career, and I started investing in real estate. I traveled, partied, dated, and climbed a few rungs on the corporate ladder. It was all about me, me, and a little more me. Yeah, there were times I’d love to forget (and a few nights I don’t remember), but that’s what my 20’s were about – testing my boundaries while trying to re-discover the essence of who I really am and what I wanted in life.

I had just turned 29 when I moved to Philadelphia. Having grown up in a small Kansas town, moving to such a large city on the East coast – alone – was a culture shock. Work was challenging, it was difficult to meet friends, and I had an increasing feeling that I didn’t “fit in” anywhere or with anyone. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I wasn’t fitting in with myself. And then magic happened.

I met John and Joyce.

John, an electrician by day, came to my home to install an outlet for my dryer. And he was one hell of an electrician because he “turned on the light” for me. I’m not sure how it happened, but we ended up sitting in my basement for almost 2 hours talking about spirit, and he ultimately introduced me to my spiritual teacher. That day, when he left my home, John invited me to dinner at his place. He was excited for me to meet his wife (also from Kansas). Nervous, but not knowing anyone, I accepted the invitation.

A few days later, I walked through their door and fell in love. Joyce was magical! She was elegant, sparkling with light and majesty. Together they had a grace and depth of loving I had never experienced before. Their home was a beautiful, nurturing sanctuary. As the delicious dinner progressed (John was quite the chef), I learned that Joyce was also a Feng Shui master. I had never heard of Feng Shui, and she generously started to teach me about this beautiful practice. I was hooked! By the end of the evening, I invited her to my home to take a look. This is how my journey with Feng Shui began.

As many single women on the edge of 30 often are, I was in self-judgment and frustration about not being in a committed relationship. When Joyce came into my home, she politely said “Well, you haven’t created a space for someone to show up in your life. What is it that you want?”

I had never made the connection between my living space and my desire for what I wanted in life.

She began to point things out to me – the sexy, naked, single female painting in my bathroom, the framed vintage Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie poster in my family room (spoiler – she ends up alone in the end, unable to commit).

Every piece of art in my home was a single image. If a partner had shown up, there was literally no space for him! Every closet and drawer were stuffed full of me. And, I had never slowed down to be thoughtful and specific about the qualities and traits I wanted in a partner. I just wanted a partner.

Learning Feng Shui

Over the next several months, I began to incorporate the Feng Shui recommendations that Joyce provided. I also created a sacred moment for myself to call in spirit and very clearly create “my list” of what I wanted in my ideal partner. While he didn’t show up right away, I noticed the change in and around me. My home felt more welcoming and supportive of who I was and what I wanted. And when it came to dating, since I now had my list of qualities, I was more discerning about the men with whom I spent time.

Fast forward 2 years… During a job interview that would move me back to Kansas, I met him – the one! I didn’t know it at the time. However, as things unfolded between us, I fell into a love with him that I had never experienced with a man – a profound, accepting, unconditional, supportive love. We’ve now been together 14 years, married 12.

Create Space for What You Desire

You see, Feng Shui isn’t quick-fix, just-add-water magic.

Its INTENTION plus ACTION. It’s the OUTER and the INNER together.

This is why a 3-month minimum agreement is in place for me to partner with my clients. It takes time to set clear intention and then create action towards deep and lasting change. By being thoughtful about our surroundings, we can create a space that supports us in identifying what we desire. Then, we take action to bring it forward. Feng Shui is an energy flow that supports manifesting with ease and grace. What qualities do you want more of in life? More prosperity? More loving? More joy? More connection? More peace? How does your space block or promote these qualities showing up inside of you and in life?

In 2007, John and Joyce facilitated our wedding ceremony. It is still one of the favorite days of my life. John passed away in 2018, and I lovingly dedicate this to him. If it weren’t for him, I would not be where I am today.

As for Joyce, she remains one of my closest friends (family, really – she is my Soul-Sister). And for that list? I still have it – 58 things are listed on that wrinkled, faded, purple piece of paper. I read it to my husband on our wedding night, and he has every single quality…!


  1. Jennifer on November 21, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    This is your calling. What a gift it will be to so many people. 🙏🏻

  2. Donna Cook on November 23, 2019 at 2:42 am

    What a beautiful story about your journey and a touching tribute to John and testimony to Joyce! Wishing you and your clients much fun and success as you embark on this new adventure! As a wise teacher we both know says, “Outer reality is a reflection of inner reality.” You’re a lovely example!
    💜Donna Cook

  3. Peter on December 8, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    May the many blessings continue to manifest for you and your clients!